Of Firangs... and PMT

Talk about people having weird demands. I've this firang friend of mine from the Poona Music Society who was so keen on travelling by a 'Lal Dabba'! Lal Dabba? Oh c'mon! Don't we lovingly call our beloved PMT by the same name? That in three ways was good for me because, firstly, you don't want a panic-stricken pillion rider with you, who might just jump off the bike mid-way. Secondly, better to hear the 'grunts and roars' of a PMT than the Sharapova-esque shrieks of the blonde! Thirdly, and most importantly I got a Blog topic :-P (always find the positives from the negatives, say the wise ;-) )

So agreeing to her demands we were... in a PMT bus; the girl for the first time and I after a good 4 years! She'd already satisfied herself by talking to the conductor, for the tickets, in whatever little Marathi she'd by-hearted before hand (no need to tell that that person was swargat). For me, it was déjà vu... similar chain of thoughts I'd had all those years back when I used to travel by bus made their presence felt in my mind... wondering if the people who designed the 'Lal Dabba' were drunk -

First of all, it looks ugly and crude. I hope you'll agree with me on this. Disgusting!

Second, it’s painted "Red-Yellow" from the outside and "Dark Green" from the inside! Creative!

Third, cushion-less green/blue seats? What the heck!

Fourth, who thought that painting the windows with "Green" oil paint would look great? Ridiculous!

Fifth, the paint is of low quality and allows lovers to leave impressions of their ever-lasting love on the back side of seats and on the green windows. You must have noticed those signatures from "Yogesh loves Rani" or "Pramod chi Seema" cupid messages. Damn it!

Sixth, the bus number and the destination on the plate are hardly legible with naked eyes, and just in case if somebody succeeds in reading it, there's no telling whether he will understand the meaning of short forms like Ko. Depot, Sho. Bazaar or Vadgaon Budh. Qabalistic!

Seventh, no provision for physically handicapped or old people. To get into the bus, you have to lift you feet at least 3 feet above the ground! Hellish!

Eighth, the bus is super-sonic to the real sense of the term. Sounds emanating from the engine, loose-windows, foot board and... what not... Deafening!

Ninth, the emergency exit door/window is at the back at a height and I doubt if anyone can cross it in case of emergency. Designing!

Tenth, it seems to have taken a leaf out of Domino's marketing book - "10 min. chya aat PMT aalyas, Pune-darshan mofat" asa kahitari :-D Inefficient!

...

Oh, someone stop me!