News: SRK picked for Indian T20 team as part of Ra.One promotion

Mumbai: In an absolutely predictable turn of events, Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan is expected to be picked for the Indian cricket team that will do the duties in the lone T20 against England at Kolkata on October 29.

Shahrukh is set to play for the Indian cricket team as part of the marketing blitz for Ra.One, which is releasing in theatres on October 26 (today).

Confirming the development, a top BCCI source said it was only a logical culmination to both the absolute commercialisation of Indian cricket and the over-the-top marketing of the Ra.One team - "We have nothing left in Indian cricket to sell except spots in the Indian cricket team. And that is what we have done now," explained the BCCI source. "If this experiment works out well, we will doubtless make it a permanent idea, providing a berth in the Indian cricket team for other actors in the run up to the release of their respective films."

The BCCI source conceded that there might be some ticklish issues to be tackled in the future, like when a Salman Khan starrer was set to be released; "Salman may insist on turning up in Indian colours on a, er, bare torso. You know what I mean," the source said and added: "but look at the positive side. We may have the biggest fantasy of every cricket fan coming true, which is Rajnikanth playing for the Indian team. That will give the Indian team a chance to enforce the follow-on without batting even once. Who knows he may score in one innings what took Sir Donald Bradman 52 Tests to."

Also, the BCCI source said: "Imagine Rajnikanth declaring in the post-match presentation: "I did it for Sachin". I get goose bumps merely thinking about it."

And how about, Sachin saying: "It augurs well for the future of Indian cricket that youngsters like Rajnikanth are showing tremendous potential."

Coming back to Shahrukh’s inclusion in the team, with India having wrapped up the ODI series against England in a rather comprehensive manner, this was the only way to add some meaning to an anyway meaningless series. It is not clear whether Shahrukh will be played as a batsman or bowler. Whatever that be, he can be counted to ham it to the best of his abilities.

But it is most likely that the underperforming Parthiv Patel will be dropped and Shahrukh will come in as his replacement.  The BCCI source said that though the idea to include Shahrukh was part of a commercial deal, it still made a lot of cricketing sense. "Look at it this way, Shahrukh playing in the team would seem much more acceptable than Parthiv being dropped and his place inevitably going to — knowing the ways of this particular selection committee — Anirudha Srikkanth".

The BCCI source said it is not as if Shahrukh is a total outsider to cricket. He is the owner of the IPL team Kolkata Knightriders. "Talking of KKR, Shahrukh being picked for the Indian cricket team can still be more logically explained than Ajit Agarkar being picked for Kolkata Knightriders."

Meanwhile, an unidentified Indian player was quoted saying that he was delighted when he was told that a member of Ra.One cast will play in the Indian Eleven in the T20. "But I was slightly deflated when I came to know that it will be Shahrukh and not Kareena. With Kareena around, it would have been more fun, especially the team huddle", he twinkled his eyes conspiratorially.   

Elsewhere, sources in the Shahrukh Khan camp said that he was happy that he would be part of the Indian team.  Shahrukh is expected to do his Chammak Challo jig after the fall of every English wicket, providing an entertaining contrast to the current routine which now involves Suresh Raina/Virat Kohli smothering the bowler or the catcher in a clinch, which is sure to fetch a full nelson in a wrestling bout.

The marketing team of Ra.One said they were also in negotiations with the Anna Hazare team to try and include Shahrukh as part of their contingent. "We have thought up imaginative schemes like a free ticket to Ra.One for anyone actually reading what is in the Lokpal Bill," they said and added the only glitch here maybe that Digvijay Singh would end up accusing a Muslim, which Shahrukh is, of having ties with the RSS. "When it comes to unseemly publicity we confess that we come second only to Digvijay!," they said ruefully.

(Disclaimer: Trying to spoof the over-the-top marketing blitz of Ra.One, we seem to have actually given more publicity to the film. So this joke is on us.)