Friday, April 29, 2011

CWG in 3G


Disclaimer: The b*****d depicted in this dialogue is non-fictious and resemblance to any person living is purely non-coincidental

CWG in 3G
Cast: ‘Sir U Made Lakhs’ aka Suresh Kalmadi along with a CBI official
Scene: At the CBI office, New Delhi
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*a restless Kalmadi in custody asks his lawyer*
Kalmadi: “Mujhe CWG ‘khelna’ hain, kab kheloonga main??? Kab nikloonga main yahaan se???”

*goes and asks the CBI official, while soulful pipe music plays in the background*
Kalmadi: “Baat nahin karni thi to bulaya kyun?”

CBI: “Yahaan pe ek over-bridge hua karta tha”

*Kalmadi looks down sheepishly with the background music changing to ‘Queen’s baton rally’*
CBI: “Mr. Suresh Kalmadi, ek minister ki nazar kabhi paise pe nahi honi chahiye!”

Kalmadi: “Tu rukh zara... tujhe toh baad mein dekhta hoon”

CBI: “Rough mat khel, tu hain meri moothi mein! Aur ek baat bata, tumhare jaise aur kaun kaun se minister idhar CBI office mein aane baki hain?”

Kalmadi: “No Idea!”

CBI: “Then get Idea, till I count 1,2,3…!”
          
*Kalmadi tries to sweet-talk the CBI official and opens his touchscreen phone (with 3G) and shows it to the CBI office in an inviting manner, ala apna MSD*
Kalmadi: “Coffee?? Chupchup gupshup suru ho jaane do… Dosti ki sab baatein guftagoo mein chalne do…”

*kahani ka climax…*
CBI: “Nahi! Ab hum hain FASTER SMARTER and BETTER, aur Tihar will be your abode forever!!!”

*the signature tune ‘Tan tan tadan tan…’ starts playing and reaches a crescendo*

CUT!
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Credits –
Dialogue conceived by: Rohan Pandit
Original scripts: Airtel, Idea, Aircel

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